Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
