do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Vodka?
Forever.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
