This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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