Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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