he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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