My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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