You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
