you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
