So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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