She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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