I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
