I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
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