How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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