She's JV to your varsity
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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