Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior http://tfl.nu/44hw
  Replies (6) Good night (3901) Bad night (732)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Together?

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Preferably.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch. (541): Together? (847): Preferably. http://tfl.nu/lik5
  Replies (21) Good night (3334) Bad night (570)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm starting a business if you want to get involved

  (1-781): View more from Massachusetts

  oh boy

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): I'm starting a business if you want to get involved (1-781): oh boy (781): Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings http://tfl.nu/e1eb
  Replies (21) Good night (3018) Bad night (524)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her http://tfl.nu/en5u
  Replies (48) Good night (2661) Bad night (3323)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose? http://tfl.nu/qulw
  Replies (112) Good night (1190) Bad night (16144)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls. http://tfl.nu/q9cr
  Replies (8) Good night (1218) Bad night (5468)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty http://tfl.nu/6xch
  Replies (14) Good night (4457) Bad night (1120)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (601): Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall. http://tfl.nu/qd0i
  Replies (7) Good night (2794) Bad night (931)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (302): My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever. http://tfl.nu/lkx6
  Replies (19) Good night (1576) Bad night (3231)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist. http://tfl.nu/sycq
  Replies (2) Good night (1673) Bad night (380)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses http://tfl.nu/9pm9
  Replies (4) Good night (698) Bad night (795)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me. http://tfl.nu/k6g0
  Replies (1) Good night (284) Bad night (548)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution. http://tfl.nu/zvzs
  Replies (2) Good night (463) Bad night (222)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me http://tfl.nu/4kao
  Replies (1) Good night (576) Bad night (240)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license? http://tfl.nu/k1wl
  Replies (9) Good night (684) Bad night (179)

Randomize