a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them