man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs