Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(972): View more from Texas

I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.

(1-972): View more from Texas

I want to be a cop.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(972): I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party. (1-972): I want to be a cop. http://tfl.nu/ucz6

Replies (104) Good night (23781) Bad night (934)
Favorite
(250): View more from British Columbia

Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.

(1-250): View more from British Columbia

I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(250): Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you. (1-250): I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this. http://tfl.nu/x6e9

Replies (25) Good night (11836) Bad night (950)
Favorite
(585): View more from New York

Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(585): Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either. http://tfl.nu/3i4x

Replies (12) Good night (7815) Bad night (871)
Favorite
(562): View more from California

Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(562): Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on http://tfl.nu/30zy

Replies (38) Good night (2493) Bad night (7736)
Favorite
(615): View more from Tennessee

They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(615): They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this. http://tfl.nu/rcac

Replies (25) Good night (1662) Bad night (5693)
Favorite
(917): View more from New York City

I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(917): I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close http://tfl.nu/ibae

Replies (5) Good night (3389) Bad night (820)
Favorite
(443): View more from Maryland

i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(443): i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me. http://tfl.nu/hmc1

Replies (11) Good night (4012) Bad night (1834)
Favorite
(512): View more from Texas

honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(512): honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party http://tfl.nu/io10

Replies (6) Good night (2193) Bad night (576)
Favorite
(301): View more from Maryland

thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(301): thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants. http://tfl.nu/zsuu

Replies (2) Good night (1181) Bad night (598)
Favorite
(250): View more from British Columbia

Bring gay.

(250): View more from British Columbia

By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(250): Bring gay. (250): By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay. http://tfl.nu/xg2s

Replies (3) Good night (2054) Bad night (484)
Favorite
(561): View more from Florida

Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(561): Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch. http://tfl.nu/p878

Replies (2) Good night (1023) Bad night (597)
Favorite
(204): View more from Manitoba

I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(204): I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls http://tfl.nu/4n4b

Replies (11) Good night (547) Bad night (985)
Favorite
(646): View more from New York

Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(646): Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with. http://tfl.nu/g4xi

Replies (5) Good night (539) Bad night (862)
Favorite
(228): View more from Mississippi

I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(228): I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult." http://tfl.nu/mdv1

Replies (4) Good night (981) Bad night (492)
Favorite
(956): View more from Texas

He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(956): He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex. http://tfl.nu/esb3

Replies (5) Good night (271) Bad night (611)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: