Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i dont even know how to be here
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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