im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
