i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
