I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
