It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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