I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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