you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
