I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
