how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
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Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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