its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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