He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
