You're completely useless in the revolution.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
