3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Randomize
