roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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