she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
