Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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