I'm going to jail i love you
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
