I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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