This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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