if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
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