Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
