so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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