my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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