I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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