never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
