i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
