I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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