Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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