You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
