Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
i think im in europe. pls send help
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
