But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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