you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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