Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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