That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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