Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize