You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
