I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
