I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
