I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
