Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
