Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
